Yes, yesterday it was once again time to avoid going into D.C. during the daytime.
Why?
Did we get two inches of snow?
No.
Was there a major accident?
No.
Because of all the streets closed hours in advance in preparation for the State of the Union address.
Since there wasn't much of a way to get around (at least not in a car), there was a choice: to stay home and watch the State of the Union address sober. Or make an annoying task more enjoyable by drinking.
Ergo, I have devised the
State of the Union Drinking Game.
There are three versions of this game. One will get you very drunk. The other game is for the person who wants there to be a chance of drinking, but not very much. Then there is the game for someone who wants almost no chance of drinking whatsoever. Ever again.
So, here we are, off to the games.
[btw, if you missed the speech live, you can catch it on
C-Span or C-Span2 frequently through this weekend.]
The Getting Sloshed Game
Drink everytime the President blinks.
Drink everytime members of the Republican party perform a meaningless act of symbolism.
Drink everytime Dick Cheney smirks.
Drink everytime they show the war widow sitting next to Laura Bush.
Drink everytime there is a standing ovation from both political parties.
The Nearly Teatotaler game
Drink everytime people in the audience make some noise expressing their displeasure. (sounds of no, rather than booing).
Drink everytime John Kerry smiles.
Drink everytime they show Barbara Boxer.
Drink everytime the President gives a member of Congress the Godfather kiss.
The Total Teatotaler game
Drink everytime Bush tells the truth.
Have fun kids. I'll check in with you soon.... I promise.
